the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
