Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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