when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize