My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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