I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
