That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
