I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
