I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
