I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
