3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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