After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he fucked my hip out of place.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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