I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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