just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize