Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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