Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
