Dual....:-)
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
