quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
