I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
