Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
