I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
