Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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