i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
