East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
