just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
