I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
