How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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