Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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