there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
