You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
