he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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