I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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