I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
