I feel like abortions should bother me more
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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