Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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