? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's blow job season.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
