well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Two words: blizzard sex
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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