This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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