May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
