I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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