Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize