butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize