I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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