he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize