I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
