shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
