I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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