i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
