So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
