I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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