her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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