Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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