I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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