You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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