overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
