FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
high people should be assigned attendants
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
