I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
