My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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