did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
