How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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