I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
