ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
