It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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