Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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