She is in my trunk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
