i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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