Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
