we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think your dad took our porno
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
