I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
